When parents come in for therapy for the first time, I can often see on their faces a look of concern that is shared by nearly every parent who walks into my office. It is a look of guarded desperation. It reminds me of the look my golden retriever gives when she knows she must go for a car ride. She is fairly certain the car ride will end in either a trip to play with her Frisbee or to meet up with friends and family. However, my car-phobic pup struggles with the possibility that the road will be treacherously full of bumps, potholes, and cow-grates (the noise and vibration is nearly too much for her to bare).
I recognize exactly where this apprehension is coming from. Taking your kids to therapy can feel like a risk that has no guarantee that you or your children will get the support you need. If you do seek help, how do you know the “car ride” won’t be full of finger pointing, inadequacies, and feelings of failure?
How much easier would it all be if I could just communicate to you and my lovely fur-child that I appreciate the concerns and that all precautions will be taken to ensure a safe arrival? While I can never fully attain this with my golden, I can make an effort to address your fears and concerns as parents. Below I have included the top 5 fears I hear from parents who have brought their children in for therapy or who attend family sessions. It is my hope that I can address these fears in a way that can lessen anxieties and empower disheartened parents.
1. The counselor will think I’m a “bad parent”.
While I have training and experience in conducting therapy, the reality is you are the upmost expert on you and your child’s life. As the parent, you are the one who understands the depth of your day-to-day experiences and you are the one who has been on the front lines fighting to provide for your child. In my opinion, this renders all forms of judgment null and void. I also believe that any parent who comes into therapy has made their child’s wellbeing a priority. Even if you feel like you have let your child down or feel unsure of how to continue, you're here: and that makes you one incredible parent!
2. What if my kid has something really wrong with them?
There is nothing that could be going on with your child that is beyond the scope of your ability to continue to love them and see them through. The majority of children who come to therapy are often here as a result of having a difficult time transitioning at home or at school. If there is something bigger at hand, therapy can be similar to catching any physical diagnosis early on at the doctors. You get peace of mind (A) knowing what you are experiencing is a real thing and (B) learning strategies on how to move towards healing.
3. I can’t afford treatment.
There are so many resources for parents who need assistance affording therapy. Two outstanding organizations in Northern Colorado are Open Path Psychotherapy and Mental Health Connections. Both of these organizations help members of the community find practitioners who work at a significantly reduced rate. Many therapists, like myself, also offer a sliding scale where they are willing to reduce their fee for those who meet certain financial need. Crime Victim’s Compensation is also an option that provides 20 free sessions to victims of a crime.
4. What will our friends/family/coworkers think?
Unfortunately some stigma still lingers around therapy. Some folks stubbornly believe it is only for the weak willed or for the crazy, as if whatever they are doing is “normal”. My experience is these are the very people who could benefit most from therapy! It is never weak to reach out for help; it actually takes more courage to do so. As for your friends and family, you would be fairly surprised who has been to therapy themselves and who comes to you asking for referrals.
5. How do I know that therapy will even help?
The answer to this question is dependent on the client’s willingness to seek change. I think this is quite empowering in that the catalyst to getting better does not lie in my hands. This is something even your primary care physician does not offer. If you show up to your doctors office and they prescribe you the wrong medication you may not get better no matter how much you wish to be. In therapy you get to decide both the pace and the outcome!
About the Author:
Kyle Douglas is a therapist at Boardwalk Therapy Center where he works on a sliding fee scale. His prior experience in the classroom as a preschool teacher has inspired and encouraged him to continue to work with children. If you want to learn more about him or his practice feel free to check him out on the Boardwalk Therapy Centers website, http://www.boardwalktherapycenter.com/2052/60112.html or contact him directly at kyledouglastherapy@gmail.com www.kyledouglastherapy.com
